


What the Night Brought Me

by joanc24



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Asshole Jackson, Cop!Derek, Cute Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Human Derek Hale, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, oblivious!Stiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-25 11:14:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3808285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joanc24/pseuds/joanc24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Wow! What the fuck, dude?” Stiles flails as he tries to crab walk backwards and away from the gun only to bump himself into a wall.</p>
<p>“Funny. That’s exactly what I thought when I found a naked man sleeping in my living room floor. Now, I’m gonna need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	What the Night Brought Me

Stiles groans as he registers a pounding headache that courses through his brain. Fucking Jackson and his fucking beer chugging challenges. He gropes around him looking for his phone, but all he feels is the hard coarse texture of a carpet underneath him. He really doesn’t want to open his eyes and face the sunlight he can clearly see through his eyelids. It’s sort of odd considering Jackson’s love for black out curtains. He hears a scuffled movement near.

“I know you’re awake, now get up slowly and put your hands behind your head.” Stiles hears a gruff voice and the sound of a gun cocking coming from above him. What the fuck? Did cops crash Jackson’s party? “I said now!” A foot nudges Stiles’ hurrying him into action.

“Alright, alright. I’m moving, Jesus Christ.” Stiles sits up and slowly squints his eyes open only to widen them at the sight before him.

Now, considering Stiles is currently hungover as fuck, he’s also not really sure what he’s seeing is entirely real. For example, is there really a gorgeous hunk of a man standing over him half naked? Fuck yeah. Does the man look angry? He certainly does. Is the man currently pointing a gun at Stiles? Shit, he is!

“Wow! What the fuck, dude?” Stiles flails as he tries to crab walk backwards and away from the gun only to back up into a wall.

“Funny. That’s exactly what I thought when I found a naked man sleeping in my living room floor. Now, I’m gonna need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.” The man kicks over a pair of Batman briefs that clearly belong to Stiles.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry, dude!” Stiles quickly puts on the briefs and raises his hands up. “Look, dude. I didn’t take anything! I was at a party, got drunk and I have no idea how I got here. I swear! Please don’t shoot me! My dad is a sheriff and if you kill me you might as well say goodbye to your fine ass because he’s gonna go all Liam Neeson on it. He will find you and he will kill you. I’m all he has left! He’ll make sure they never find your god-like body. Jesus, how many abs do you have? I can’t believe this is happening to me. Where the fuck is Scott? I have to pee so bad. Oh god, I’m gonna be covered in piss when they find my body. This is all Whittemore’s fault! That lizard face motherfuc—“

“Are you about done?” The man with the gun looks at Stiles likes he’s crazy which Stiles can’t really blame him. “Did you just say 'Whittemore'? As in that jackass who lives up in the penthouse?” The man rolls his eyes and lowers the gun. He moves as if to pocket the gun in a holster only to look down confused at himself and remember he too is in his undies.

The relief at seeing the gun no longer pointed at Stiles is palpating enough that he almost pisses himself. He quickly crosses his legs, covers his crotch and looks over at the man with hope in his eyes. He doesn’t even have to ask where the bathroom is because the man is already pointing at a door to Stiles left.

“Go to the bathroom. I don’t want any piss or puke on my floor,” He bends down to grab Stiles clothes from the floor, where he must have taken them off when he got here, and throws them at Stiles' face. “and for the love of God, get dressed.”

Stiles catches the clothes as best as he cans while still holding onto his crotch and nearly faceplants the floor. He manages to catch a glimpse of a blush creeping on the man’s face but doesn’t dwell much on that fact thanks to his bladder telling him to move the fuck now resulting in flinging himself to the bathroom and taking care of his business quickly. While in there he makes sure to get fully dressed, uses some of the guy’s toothpaste and mouthwash to get rid of the foul taste in his mouth and roots inside the mirror cabinet for aspirin.

As he looks at himself in the mirror he wonders, how the hell he got himself into this mess? The last thing he remembers is drinking Jackson’s private stash with Scott in the balcony. Either way, he needs to figure it out fast. That guy out there doesn’t look so friendly with that gun, but he doesn’t look like a serial killer either. Except for the eyebrows. Those fuckers look intimidating as shit. His eyes, though, even through the panic, Stiles registered the intensity in them. Also, damn that body. Focus, Stiles! He pep talks himself before leaving the bathroom. Time to face music and all that.

As Stiles enters the living room again the man is nowhere to be seen, but he can hear movement coming from the other room. Stiles notices a steaming cup of coffee left on the coffee table and wonders if it’s for him. He goes to sit on the couch in front of the coffee table but decides not to touch the coffee just yet. Lord knows he wants to though it smells amazing. He can feel his body fidgeting and the headache still going strong. A gruff voice from behind startles him.

“Coffee is for you. Drink it, I need you sober.” The man walks over, sadly he is dressed now, and sits down at a love seat next to the couch. His intense stare makes Stiles a bit uncomfortable though the mix of colors he sees in the man’s eyes is sort of hypnotizing. Snap out of it, Stiles. Focus!

“Sober for what? How do I know is not drugged?” Stiles looks warily, even though the man looks normal Stiles can’t forget the fact that he had a gun.

“You don’t need to worry about that. I’m Detective Derek Hale of NYPD and all I want to know is how you broke into my apartment.” The man reaches behind his back for a wallet and slaps it on top of the coffee table so Stiles could see his badge on it. The man leans his elbows on his knees while clasping his hands together all the while looking at Stiles suspiciously. Can’t really blame the guy, now.

The breath of relief Stiles releases is quickly overcome by the full sense of embarrassment at breaking and entering the home of a police officer. How the hell is he gonna get out of this now?

“Look, dude, I’m—“

“Don’t call me dude.”

“Sorry, Detective. I really don’t know what to say besides that I’m sorry. I don’t remember how I got here.” Stiles reaches for the coffee and sips a mouthful. The slight burn in his mouth calms him down.

“As you said so earlier.” The man takes out another wallet from behind him and Stiles recognizes it as his own. Not many people carry around wallets decorated with PacMan. Derek holds it up while looking at his driver’s license. “No idea how to pronounced your first name, but I did recognize your last name. Stilinski, huh? Beacon Hills sheriff’s son? You’re right, though. He would go all Liam Neeson on my ‘fine ass’ as you called it. How is John doing lately?” Derek leans back on the love seat looking all relaxed and smirking.

“You know my dad? Wait, when did I said your ass was fi—you know that.” Stiles was full on blushing now and so damn confuse. Derek chuckles.

“When you were ranting and possibly threatening me. I also remember something about a ‘god-like body’ and ‘how many abs’.” Stiles' wide eyes were the only reaction he could muster at the moment, he sat frozen on the spot. If he moved he felt like the coffee would end up in his lap and he did not need to further bury himself in embarrassment nor cause him burning pain in his lower region. 

“So how about we go out for breakfast where we can hash out the details of last night, how you got in here and I can give you a ride home so you can rest for tonight.” Derek gets up and takes the coffee from Stiles' hands and helps him stand up.

“Tonight? What’s tonight?” Stiles gulped. The way Derek was looking at him did things to his body. Good things. Derek smirks.

“Oh, did I forget to mention that I’m taking you to dinner? Maybe come here afterwards?” Derek, still holding onto Stiles' hands, tugs him a bit closer. Stiles can feel Derek’s breath pretty damn close now. If Stiles were to take a chance he’s pretty sure Derek would kiss him back, but he won’t make it that easy for him.

“Sure thing, big guy. As long as you don’t kiss and tell my dad just yet.” They laugh and Derek nods. Stiles figures, what the hell and pecks Derek's lips with his own. Derek reciprocates with a smile so bright that it makes Stiles' chest feel warm.

Three months later Stiles finds himself doing something he never thought he’d do even in his afterlife. He, honest to God, thanked Jackson for pooling a stupid prank on him that night at the party that resulted in meeting his now boyfriend. Though, he made sure to let Jackson know that Derek would arrest him if he so much as tried anything like that ever again.

It seems that Jackson had caught Stiles and Scott drinking his very expensive stash of alcohol and decided to let them get so drunk they winded up knocking themselves out so badly they didn't notice what Jackson did to them. Hence, Stiles was dropped naked in that grumpy ass cop’s apartment and Scott was left on old Mrs. Jenkins apartment, also naked, covered in cat food. Did I mention Mrs. Jenkins has 17 cats? Yeah, most of them strays too. All achieved thanks to Danny’s special set of skills that include lock picking. Sadly, Scott did not have a happy ending like Stiles did.

**Author's Note:**

> Saw a post of prompts by toxixpumpkin on tumblr and decided to give it a go. Not much of a writer, but thought 'meh, why not?'.  
> Unbeta'd, so mistakes are all mine.
> 
> Link to prompts post: http://toxixpumpkin.tumblr.com/post/108022477839/ridiculous-sentence-prompts
> 
> Hope somebody enjoys.


End file.
